A compilation of blogpost slop from February to April 2025

February 10, 2025 - No Reservations

I want to make some really good stuff. I guess I could make everything for free, but a wise man once said “if you can save the world, do it at a profit.”

Let’s face it, most audio engineers think of their tools as black boxes and have no interest in the code, math, or physics implications of their software. There is a certain knowledge threshold that separates an amateur from a professional in the realm of mixing, which is most quickly reached by quickly iterating by mixing constantly. After a certain amount of iterations, they’re pretty much set for a career in mixing or recording and their “sound” can be reached quite efficiently.

Audio engineers are primarily artists, since after that threshold of knowledge (and therefore competency) is reached, we are productized and sold our services based on our “sound” which is a product of knowledge and taste. Gaining this skillset is quite simple since after learning the fundamentals of a solid mixing system like Dan Worrall’s BEDA (Balance, Equalization, Dynamics, Ambience) the engineer has only to iterate to propagate. Unlike an artist whos knowledge is infinitely emergent (i.e. good music can be made in infinite ways, a good mix is more objective with more limitations, more on that later), the engineer’s knowledge is relegated to the concepts of frequency and dynamics control over different toolsets. It’s tricky to pinpoint what makes a song “good” but it’s easier to point out what makes a mix sound good.

An LLM and a FiLM-enabled neural network walk into a bar…

Generally speaking, this direction of technology is of the wrong kind in regards to approaching AGI. It will not be a problem of compute but a philosophical breakthrough instead, that understands the origins of creativity which is needed to solve the black box “problem” of universal computation. How is universal computation a black box phenomenon? Epistemologically speaking…

The direction I wish to head towards is one of much greater importance and moral value to humanity. It is to solve for objective beauty by finding sources of creativity’s origins. But since creativity cannot be defined without creating an understand of it, an abstraction like a math formula would only limit the definition of such an emergent and infinite phenomenon. This is the creative’s paradox. How can artists be creative on-demand? Will our understanding of creativity allow us to reach its origins at-will? Feynman said “What I cannot create, I do not understand.” My career will be that of illuminating symmetries from the sciences to create useful tools. (Symmetries from science, applied.)

2.17 Sometimes my mind gets overwhelmed when it thinks about the many tasks I have ahead of me. It requires an artist’s devotion to complete even just one of the plethora of tasks I’ve assigned it. I propose that instead of magnifying and demagnifying the assignments, that the mind simply digs tunnels. By digging in one continuous direction, the mind is not distracted, and when it needs to come up for sun, it can do so naturally and not forcefully.

April 3, 2025 - Anorexic Bears

From whence we came, all things arise from problem sets. Our knowledge, and therefore our wealth cannot be simplified into a single number, but a set of numbers. Maybe it is like a matrice, and neural nets are actually on to something? Like a number with metadata but organized no further, since knowledge is not hierarchical. And what does “emergent” mean then? Because if that sort of knowledge can apparate across domains without having to cross a bridge of complete understanding (we can call that apparation-property creativity in this case) then that is what allows humans to create unique ideas based off our unique problem sets. It is the propulsion system-no-that Harry Potter reference was good enough, that allowed Virgil to write his magnum opus. Whether in art, science, economics, or all three within a technology company, a Steve Jobs is entirely unique as an individual. His specific problem set is what allowed him to consider Wozniak, bauhaus, and oriental philosophy in order to craft his magnum opus.

I was supposed to go to class again today. I’ve skipped everything for the past month now. I’ve been applying hard to AV Technician jobs. I only want one measly job to save up and buy a speedy reduced so I can start WTA and make bank. While focusing on that, I’ll figure out an online business or develop a product or personal brand. Thing is, I kinda know what it is I need to do. It’s just a matter of finesse. And steady income to abate my credit card bill stress.

Personal brand: vlogs and podcasts? WTA: create firebase site? Online biz: AI chatbots for Max?

I’m bearish on problems that aren’t fun. Like any job I get, or any class I take. The millisecond I feel coerced to do something, I want to run screaming. That’s why I’m bullish on personal brands. Vlogs? No, my life is boring. Blogs? No, there’s no way to scale, which makes it boring immediately. It’s not like I really try to write anything crazy. It’s just a neat way of keeping diary entries. Maybe that’s what I’ll keep this to. I’ll bequeath this to my kids. Should be interesting. Like Theodore Roosevelt’s letters to his kids. I guess I gotta clean up my act. Man, if that book was an actively kept blog it’d be badass.

I want to go to the movies tomorrow.

April 4, 2025 - Drawl for Summer

Listening to Mac Demarco. Splayed out on my bed. Sleep deprived. Only red lights in my room so my eyes don’t get tired. That way I can remain in this limbo state while I write. So I can stay distracted. Before my thoughts catch up to me. I wish I never have to wait during these transitions, these in-between states. From getting ready to go out, to waiting to fall asleep, my mind is becoming increasingly dangerous. To me. No bueno.

I guess I’m going a little nuts due to my lack of sleep. I hate how I write / think, it’s so damn boring. I need to read more. Write more. “Need to,” yeah right.

I do need to refocus on my health. I really want abs so I don’t have to worry about food anymore.

As the summer nears, I’m coming to appreciate some things. I suppose it’s not in my best interest to reminisce about the past though. Rumination is what artists excel at. For better and for worse. My focus as soon as I get a job, is creating my watch dealer business. And then joining ECH. And then figuring out how to make money online, so that I can travel without worry. But maybe I don’t want to leave the U.S. Maybe, I just want to make music in peace, somewhere beautiful, out in the countryside. I’d rather have a wife and be rich by then though.

Okay, let’s flesh this out though:

  1. get AV technician job so parents don’t freak out and I can continue living with them in peace to help them & avoid paying rent
  2. pay off PayPal credit line
  3. buy speedy reduced for close to $1200
  4. prepare watch gear
  5. continue paying off FROZEN discover card line (keep it frozen you fool)

that’s pretty much my plan for the next 2 years while I make music in the meantime, that’s how I’ll get my social life in, by being productive and making music w them. Maybe start that youtube channel too huh? Get my IG popping too. eh, don’t care bout nuthin, except for money and some friends.

Figuring Out Markdown

  • is not so hard!

eventually I’ll be able to learn C++ and create Premix!

April 6, 2025 - Rush More

This reminds me of that time I went to Peru, and got to see all aspects of life, rich and poor, in all the different meanings of those words, splayed across the outer edges and the desolate interiors of the nation. I’m not well-travelled, nor erudite, but my worldliness stems from a deep knowledge of human psychology from my experiences. I perceive deeply.

Today I spent the vast majority of the day listening to John McAfee podcasts, listened to Bully - Ye while working out (pull-ups and lateral raises), and indulging in private affairs. No reading today, unless you count the <5 min. skimming Kapil’s Atmamun.

McAfee has been added to my “Mount Rushmore” list of wacky individuals who have impressed me with their lack of fear, and control they had over their lives. I would add Onassis, but if it’s him vs Agnelli, the Italian dressed better. Von Neumann / Franklin were both fantastic polymaths, but for science, there’s only one character that I’d like to delve into more, due to his “not-give-a-fuck” nature, and that is Feynman (not sure if another scientist even comes close). Tony Stark / Bruce Wayne have tasteful supercar collections, plus they’re rich which moves them up the list for me, but even they pale to the historically-rooted and even more tasteful James Bond, whose creator led a life as opaque as the myth himself. Fleming, Feynman, Agnelli, & McAfee.

John McAfee was likely murdered. He had as good a run as any, and to my knowledge, was as much a truth-seeker as any of my living heroes. Taking religiosity seriously, taking nobody’s word for anything (being a security nut, this made sense), I have but one… improvement I would recommend on a soul that free, that he would surely balk at. A rebel into and after death, he found himself increasingly isolated while stalked by the law. It was never clear to me, that he ever wanted to maximize his “circle of usefulness.” Buffett & Munger have what they call their “circle of competency” that they adamently stick to. Knowledge is a set of things understood, which can entail competency in skills, or as McAfee may have lacked, a moral obligation to help as many people as possible. Did he not start all these businesses though? This will be a tough argument to make, and it’s getting closer to bedtime. Shit, I’m in bed right now dozing off, it’s just that it’s so fun to write bullshit that I may never stop.

Ah well, at least I did something today…

the next day…

Werner Herzog recommends to walk and read.

I’d like to become a digital nomad. That way I can experiment being on my own, and maximize personal responsibility with regards to iterating on shelter/sustenance-acquisition constantly. I would like to feel out the skill of survivorship in different environments so that I can gain a wider perspective of humankind. However, this goes against my current skillset of music creation / improvement. I suppose I could see-saw between the two. Gain real-world experience through travelling / business, and express it creatively through music. To create my own label a-la-Mac-DeMarco would be sweet.

April 7, 2025 - It’s Code My Dear

Connan Mockasin, we revere you.

I’m wrapped in my llama fur blanket, dreaming of C++. Not even to make Premix, but just to start making some plugins. Useful ones, that are lean, look good, and feel good. A repository of secret weapons that leverage math and psychology for maximum fun. To begin, we must start with the problems at hand:

Why do the following plugins sound so good?

  • MHB Green by Kazrog
  • The God Particle
  • Airwindows ToTape
  • Softube Chandler

(we’re not even gonna cover the FX plugins, we’ll start with the more pressing problem at hand: emulating “analog goodness”)

So what is it? How can it be broken down? Can it, or is it subjective, like a song that sounds good?

Well, the laws of physics are universal, as are the laws of computation. What we understand, we can program. But the issue is, we don’t understand why hardware is just so magical-sounding. Could it be the tactile interface? The non-linearities of electronic engineering? The gaps of knowledge, to be clear, are only these: What makes analog gear sound so good, and how can this be digitally recreated?

There’s too many wide-ranging attempts at solving this, and some plugin companies avoid this completely, focusing on extrapolating upon the many upsides endemic to digital processes, like transparent data processing, or intuitive UIs made for computers. I will attempt to crush all of these non-problems by devoting my life to C++ and philosophy, and I will be open-sourcing everything. Before that, I need to get some money though. Hold on…

I was just looking up some real estate in Buenos Aires, I think I’ll buy a place using some stablecoin there since the consensus is that it’s cheaper than paying in cash. I guess I don’t need to blow a small fortune on a place there, maybe if I find some nice land over there and I can get a ranch in isolation, I can pay a chef to come over and do stuff…nah I don’t think so. A smarter financial move (expecially this early on) would be a place I can rent thru crypto for the cheapest possible price. Converting USD to a stablecoin, and then to a peso for local cash/card purchases. Setting up a bank account sounds daunting…I feel like it’s unnecessary.

But why are you learning C++?

Well, I want to feel like I’m doing something, not just rotting away viewing IG & YT reels all day. I don’t feel like reading all too mach lately either. And the only books that interest me are history ones. I’d rather read about Napoleon or Virgil than read any of their works, ha!

Will I be lost forever?

No!

So, C++ for plugins / DAW / ML development, and Vue / Nuxt for web dev.

April 8, 2025 - le freak

It’s too easy to feel unconfident. The opposite is also true. It is much easier to be confident when one is competent.

Regarding my self-esteem, I have reached a new low lately. It’s incumbent of me to stop now, and return to telling the truth, now and forever. Everyone always asks me dumb-ass questions like how school was or whatever. It’s obvious (only to me) that I’m just not doing too hot. I’m $16k in debt and I need to stop spending money on stupid shit. I’m below $500 cash as of right now. I have 20 days to make another $500 or I’m cooked. And on top of that, I need to actually pay off the principal of these damn credit lines, not just the interest. The more I stare at my problem, the more I realize the horrible truth: I’m dead-broke.

I believe now is the perfect time to “lock in.” I’ve been cornered by no one other than myself. I’m tired of lying to my un-agentic friends that I’d love to hang out with them. I need to take money seriously. I cannot live like this. In constant, paralyzing fear, of the future and the present. I’m reading. I’m learning C++. I’m taking watch trading academy seriously. Because if I don’t take my success seriously, I will be the most worthless man in the world. Actually, it’s too late, I already hold that title. But no matter how far down I am from where I want to be, there’s only one place to go from here: up.

I will get a job by May 1st. If not, then I will return to EMCO Elevators. Ha, that’s if boss takes me back, I never said goodbye.

This sounds ra-ra all good and everything…but just watch me. Fuck philosophy, I’m killing it in business this next decade 24-34. 2M net annually. Rolls Royce and Ferrari. Houses and bank accounts in different countries. Land in America. Parents chilling in retirement. Sister chilling. Doing business with friends & family. Married to a peaceful and kind dimepiece. PKD.

What’s the practical gameplan over the next week? Keep applying for jobs across all platforms. Prepare for my interview this Thursday. Work out and eat clean.

Prioritize: sleep > diet > exercise > caffeine

  • Everyday I want to code. C++ / learn neovim / web dev
  • Everyday I want to learn money. WTA.
  • Everyday I want to exercise. 15k steps daily. Heavy weights. Full body.

Going to relax and read. Need it.

My overwhelming goal has become: become wealthy.

April 10, 2025 - Open Source or Death

I’m just gonna keep writing blogs like these until I become less stressed about it.

Money.

I have $200 in cash now. It’s the 9th of April. I have 20 or so days until my next credit card billing is due. I’m gonna keep applying for more jobs and ignore the bills for now I guess.

So here’s the plan,

  1. get a full-time job w benefits (gets rid of parent ailments)
  2. pay off PP Credit line ≈ $1800
  3. buy speedy reduced (will have 6 mo to sell)
  4. keep paying off credit card

and eventually, with a $35k / year salary, starting from May, I should pay off my entire debt within this year. With 0 savings, and a limited “fun” budget.

April 13, 2025 - Fredo Season

I’m gonna plan out, here and now, now and forever, the movements of generating life.

Life. High-level consciousness. Attention directed towards the present. Attention not directed at the present are moments lost to me. And I only have so much time.

I’ve decided to move out. Regardless of whatever job I land. I have an opportunity to move out for relatively inexpensively. I want to take this opportunity to change my environment, stimulate my creativity, and reinvent myself mentally and physically. No drugs either, for this reinvention. If I want introspection, I will continue writing, thinking…

The plan after getting a job and moving out is:

  1. save up and get rid of PPC debt - $1800
  2. buy healthy food - nomad diet + organic = $1k/month
  3. buy speedy reduced - $1500ish
  4. save up $2000 for backup money - 2 months

I’m gonna continue using this to plan out exactly what the plan is once I get that job.

What I’m bringing over:

  • mattress
  • air purifier
  • pullup bar / rings / weights / kettlebells / bench
  • some books
  • bedroom lights
  • chargers
  • camera
  • lightbox
  • macbook air
  • treadmill
  • standing desk
  • tv monitor
  • desktop pc (for use as cloud storage / homelab / gaming)
  • xbox controllers
  • skincare / hygiene products

That means I pretty much know I need to toss / donate everything else that’s not on this list.

And for things I need to buy:

  • cast iron skillet
  • spatula
  • reverse osmosis filter
  • natural fiber bed sheets / pillow
  • boar toothbrush
  • silk floss
  • organic bar soap no fragrance
  • blackout window coverings
  • cotton laundry basket
  • a few other things on my amazon wish list that I hope to purchase before it’s time

April 19, 2025 - Alfredo Neue

I’m unprepared for most things in life, so how to prepare? Go back-n-forth with AI to learn new stuff. I’m also getting back into using Cursor with MCP servers like Task Master so I can use C++ to create Premix.

April 20, 2025 - My Lie in April

It has been dangerously easy to live lately…

Sometimes the things I do astound me.

Not sure what’s gotten into me lately. But I like it. I’m entering the true dark years soon. Yet I’m excited to slay this dragon -this game- of money and health, love and happiness.

  • inside sales
  • No-gi BJJ at Fifty / 50 Academy
  • animal diet
  • figure out social life
  • figure out love life

The parameters have been set. The game is close to starting.

READY PLAYER ONE…

PRESS START TO BEGIN.

GO!

April 29, 2025 - Beach D-Day

I tend to stutter.

Spent the day with Trent at the beach. Sandy Point, after Jonas and Anne Catharine Green Park, after visiting the College Park Aviation Museum, after getting my favorite ice cream flavor from the Maryland Dairy (Pop Locked-In Drop It) after going to Target to pick up a book for Trent (the Rick Rubin book), after getting gas at Costco, after grabbing an espresso that tasted like utter shit at the bike store in Hollywood Plaza (where MOM’s is).

Just finished my ice cream and taco. Finally alone. Cue Mac DeMarco.

I’m tired. Of feeling so guilty. I really have nothing left but to get good at sales. I skipped 3 interviews today for other sales jobs. Not gonna do em. If I have the opportunity to help Max by pitching solar with roofing, I’ll do it. If I can automate his biz with AI, I’ll do it.

On to AI. I want to organize my life here, just so I don’t panic from confusion while I’m out there panicking at the doors. Should I create an AI agency? Would I even have time to? sigh

I guess, honestly, who the hell cares. I have nothing to lose but a bit of time anyway. If Tai is adamant about this trend being so lucrative it’s worth giving it a shot. But not by being so laid-back. I need to go full-force into this chapter of my life. I need: perfect diet & sleep; money; to move tf out asap. like with Max or something.

So what is it I’ll be focusing on now? Well I’m glad you asked!

  • D2D sales (6 months to get decent while trying my absolute best)
  • Watch trading
  • BETA Academy MMA training
  • cutting weight to get to 10% bodyfat

wait, so on top of this you want me to create an AI automation agency?

ok, fine.

April 30, 2025 - Flunk da Funk

I flunked that subject. I am not, however, a flunkee. (reading Psycho-Cybernetics)

In the past, no matter how insane I may have felt, there’s been no feeling that I’ve felt that has given me the feeling of success as much as successfully convinving somebody of something. In car sales, it was bittersweet, as I felt coerced by others to sell. Not by managers, but by the company. “Management.” how was that different than my sales managers directly above me? Well, it was like an omnipresent… being… that shunned me whenever I messed up, who wouldn’t even look at me if I did something right. The people who treated me with positive reinforcement for learning to do the job well, were few and far between. It wasn’t the culture to be nice. And I didn’t love that.

Max is one of the few people with acute social awareness / intelligence that I trust, so when he recommended me this company and this salesperson, I wasn’t completely dismissive. I liked his texts back to me, and he’s young, but not too young. I risked a little bit of embarrasment when I sent him a website I made for his company. It payed off, because he liked it and said he’d want help on that down the line. I also got to show to Max my newly acquired web dev skills. I can finally be useful!

This new self-image that I will create for myself here, will be everything that I’ve ever wanted to be. Someone that I can be proud of when looking into the mirror. A strong moral compass, finances to help out my family and friends (Tim, Max, Trent), with impressive physical capabilities. Below is the unbroken chain of logic with the aim of high self-esteem.

This is not the roadmap, but the mindset.

Agentic. Willful. Boundless energy towards being useful. In peak physical condition at all times. Well-read. Finds himself in the present often.